You finally got the meeting. The seat at the table. The invitation to that project you've been working toward.
And now you're sitting there thinking: "I don't belong here."
I know that feeling. That tightness in your chest when someone asks your opinion and you're convinced everyone's about to realize you have no idea what you're doing. That voice whispering you somehow snuck past the gatekeepers.
Here's what I need you to hear: That feeling isn't evidence you're a fraud. It's evidence you're doing something you've never done before.
The Reframe That Changes Everything
We call it imposter syndrome. I want to call it something else: the novice opportunity.
Think about it. You're not supposed to feel like you belong yet. You're building a new baseline. You're becoming someone you haven't been before. Of course it feels uncomfortable. That's literally how growth works.
75% of executive women have experienced this. Not 75% of women who failed—75% of women who made it to the top still felt like frauds along the way. The feeling doesn't mean you're wrong for the room. It means you're in a room that's stretching you.
The Curiosity Protocol
So what do you actually do when that "I don't belong here" hits mid-meeting?
You don't fight it. You don't spiral. You get curious.
Step 1: Notice the thought. Don't push it away. Don't pretend it's not there. Just clock it. "Oh, there's that feeling again."
Step 2: Get curious, not judgmental. Instead of "I'm such a fraud," try: "Hm, interesting. What specifically triggered this?" Was it when Sarah asked about Q3 projections? Was it when the VP made eye contact? Getting specific breaks the spiral.
Step 3: Commit anyway. Here's the thing—you don't need to feel confident to contribute. You need to commit to contributing. Confidence follows action, not the other way around.
The identity you're growing into will eventually feel comfortable. But not until you've spent enough time in it.
Where This Gets Dangerous
Be careful with your self-talk here. Without self-compassion, this kind of identity work turns toxic fast.
It's easy to let "I feel like an imposter" snowball into "I AM an imposter." Catch the thought, but don't beat yourself up for having it. That's the trap that keeps women playing small while their less-qualified colleagues raise their hands.
Remember: only 93 women get promoted to manager for every 100 men. The broken rung isn't about competence—it's about who stays in rooms they don't feel ready for long enough to prove they belong there.
Your One Thing This Week
Next time that imposter feeling hits, don't spiral. Run the protocol:
Notice it ("There's that feeling")
Get curious ("What triggered this?")
Commit anyway ("I'm contributing regardless")
Write those three steps somewhere you'll see them before your next big meeting. Screenshot this if you need to.
You don't have to feel like you belong right now. You just have to keep showing up until the identity catches up.
It will.
— Molly
P.S. Last week I shared the 3-Criteria Filter for identifying potential sponsors. This week's about showing up with them even when you feel out of your depth. They're connected—sponsors invest in people who stay in the room. Hit reply and tell me: what's one situation this week where you can run the Curiosity Protocol?